Gospel MT 19:3-12
Some Pharisees approached Jesus, and tested him, saying,
“Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?”
He said in reply, “Have you not read that from the beginning
the Creator made them male and female and said,
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother
and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?
So they are no longer two, but one flesh.
Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate.”
They said to him, “Then why did Moses command
that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss her?”
He said to them, “Because of the hardness of your hearts
Moses allowed you to divorce your wives,
but from the beginning it was not so.
I say to you, whoever divorces his wife
(unless the marriage is unlawful)
and marries another commits adultery.”
His disciples said to him,
“If that is the case of a man with his wife,
it is better not to marry.”
He answered, “Not all can accept this word,
but only those to whom that is granted.
Some are incapable of marriage because they were born so;
some, because they were made so by others;
some, because they have renounced marriage
for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven.
Whoever can accept this ought to accept it.”
Reflection:
On the subject of divorce, it’s probably best to begin with a reminder to the reader that this is my “personal” reflection. In no way am I an authority on the subject of divorce.
That being said, when it comes to whether divorce is proper, there will always be a differing of opinion.
As someone who has been divorced and received an annulment, I think it’s helpful to make a distinction between the two.
Divorce is a Civil procedure that deals with the “ending”of a marriage, a fair and equitable division of assets, etc.
Annulment is a process conducted by the Church that concerns itself with the “beginning” of the marriage, i.e., whether under church law the marriage, even though it may have taken place in a church, was in fact “sacramental” in nature.
In other words, at the time of the marriage, did both people truly understand and agree to what the vows they were taking meant in the eyes of the church.
I can only attest on a personal basis that an unhappy marriage or relationship of any kind is not only miserable for the two people involved, it also affects the children and others who may live in the household.
What I think is critical for us to consider as Christians, both individually and as members of the Church, is how we react to those who choose divorce.
Sadly, too often, those who choose divorce as a solution are looked at by others as being “less than” or having failed in some way. Children in divorced families often feel isolated or ashamed, without really understanding why they feel that way.
Many divorced people regularly sit in the back of the church during Mass, to lessen the number of people that pass by them on the way to communion. That isolation can be suffocating and ultimately result in the divorced person opting not to attend Mass at all.
I vividly remember my own pain and the pain of my children during the difficult time of my divorce, forty-five years ago.
Divorce is definitely a tragedy, but is divorce a sin?
I don’t know. That’s for God to decide.
As Christians, first and foremost, Jesus calls us to not judge one another, but to “Love One Another.”
“When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” John 8:7